Me every night: I don't need to sleep.
Me every morning: I need to sleep for 3 days straight.
8yearoldslut: me arriving at the gates of hell

meladoodle:

some babies were born premature, not me though, i came out as a 12 year old

ellamila1: No Navi because I’m still standing in the middle of a f*****g crater
how to prepare for exams: cry

dampsandwich:

i’m so ANGRY *punches a hole in the wall* MOM MY HAND

fukkkres: homeboy is strokin off behind a sack of potatoes dat how he got so dam swole

niggaimdeadass:

i leave crumbs in the butter because i hate my family 

zoele:

when ur on ur period and u stand up after sitting for a long time

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flexed:

“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer

thefandommenace:

I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things 

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freakvevo:

*gets my nipples pierced at Claire’s*

that one song that starts playing and you recognize it immediately and you just

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